OUR SOURCE OF LOVE IN MARRIAGE

I. In order for us to truly love our mate or others, we must first embrace the love of God.

1 John 4:19  We love because he first loved us.

Zachaeus

The Problem: most believers do not understand the love of God

ie: HOPE CHAPEL, “Does God like me?”

Test: Does God like me?

If NO, why not?

A. My life is not pleasing to him

B. I do not live up to His standards well enough

C. I do not deserve his affection

D. My life is not pleasing to me, so I know it isn’t pleasing to Him

E. _____________________________________________________________________________

If YES, then why?

A. I am good most of the time. I keep his standards

B. He doesn’t see my sins

C. He is good

D. _____________________________________________________________________________

II. On what basis does God love us?

> The only reason God loves us is because He is good

III. On what basis might God like us?

A. The only reason God might like us is because He is good

Luke 19:41  As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it

Woman at the well John 4  //  The 12, including Judas  //  Woman caught in adultery John 8:3-11

B. God accepts us without approving of our behavior    WE SEPARATE LOVE AND LIKE

> 80% of modern believers struggle with believing God’s love for them includes acceptance.

C. To be a child of God and believe that God dislikes you based on your failings or weaknesses is to embrace a legalistic system of works.

> 80% of modern believers are spiritually crippled by a legalistic faith

> Legalism: The belief that right-standing with God can be earned, deserved, or merited.

A legalist believes... “I can make myself acceptable to God by what I do...”

A legalist believes... “I can be worthy of God’s affection.”

A legalist believes... “I can earn, deserve, or merit God’s smile.”

IV. What is the result of believing we must be worthy of God’s smile?

A. Feel alone and must strive without God’s strength to get back in his favor

B. Live weak, powerless lives, unattractive to anyone around us

C. We will avoid God, our prayer life will suffer; we will repeatedly fall into the same holes

D. We cannot easily accept others in their weakness or sin.

E. If we do feel worthy, because of our merit, we become self-righteous and judgmental

V. The TRUTH:

A. Christ is the only one who has merited God’s acceptance and has earned his smile.

B. We can draw close to God only because of Christ’s finished work

> Jesus was the sacrificial Lamb who sufferED for our sins once for all.

Heb 7:27  Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself.

Heb 10:10  And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

> Christ has made us at peace with God

Rom 5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

> Christ brought us near to God by giving his life’s blood.

Eph 2:13  But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.

> His actions allows us to come boldly into God’s presence

Heb 10:19  Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus,

Heb 4:16  Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

> He did all our work for us and gave us the task of believing in him

John 6:28  Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?" 29 Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."

Rom 4:4  Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. 5 However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness.

C. Our only hope of winning God’s smile is if we are found in Christ.

Rom 8:1  Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

D. We have God’s approval based on our identity, not on our merit.

Eph 5:1  Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2  and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

E. God is much nicer than we realize.

Rom 2:4  Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

Show video clip of atheist Professor Howard Storm

I felt like I was a linguist who had studied a dead language, but one day finally heard it spoken.

VI. What if we actually believe God’s love includes acceptance?

A. We are more in love with God

Luke 7:47  Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

B. Our faith is fresher

C. We are quicker to approach God in prayer

Heb 10:19  Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus,

Heb 4:16  Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

D. We are more secure and less afraid in life

Rom 8:31  What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?...38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 John 4:18  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect [mature] in love.

E. We are filled full with God.

Eph 3:17b  ...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18  may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

F. We love and accept others at whatever stage of growth they are at in their journey

Eph 4:32  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5:1  Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2  and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.